One Mans Tragedy Is Another Mans Comedy

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

Navigation Blunder

I was a student from Malacca's flying school previously. The training there required me to carry out navigation exercises. Flying from Malacca to Johor or Subang while locating several ulu ulu kampungs and towns. I was to do my Navigation 6 exercise, previously on Navigation 1-4, was an exercise to fly from Malacca to Johor via the coastline, which was pretty simple. Navigation 5 was flown with my instructor going inland and Navigation 6 was my first solo flight (without an instructor) going inland. My mission was to locate Bahau, Segamat, Muar and back to Malacca.

-----------------------------------------TOP SECRET---------------------------------------- Smuggy, we need your help!
Callsign: Academy 436 (every student is given a callsign to be identified while in the air)
Route: Malacca ---> Bahau ---> Segamat ---> Muar ---> Malacca
1.) Bomb Bahau
2.) Spy on Enemy's Base in Segamat
3.) Escape through Muar to avoid being located by enemy and head back to base.

Flight Profile:

And your ride is a Piper Warrior single engine aircraft which is twice your age:

GOOD LUCK! This message will self destruct
in 5 seconds....

Just before my flight, I went to make a phone call to check the weather of the vicinity I was flying in. I went to the outdoor looked up into the sky to check the clouds. Stick my index finger into my mouth and then I pointed it up to the sky. It was a bit cloudy and there is slight wind blowing from the North. I returned back to the Navigation Room to complete my flight plan after obtaining the weather. The flight plan includes distance, time, heading, and fuel calculations. After completing the flight plan I went to get my flight authorized by an instructor by showing them the preparation that I have done. After getting my flight signed off, now I had to wait for the airplane to get back.


The aircraft is back, its time to make some noise! I took off from Malacca airport and headed north for Bahau. There are a few methods of locating a waypoint.
1.) Fly a constant heading for an amount of time will bring me approximately at that area.
2.) Fly according to the map by looking at ground features, example: terrain, town, road, river and railway then compare it with the map.
3.) Use navigation aids from nearby airports to locate a waypoint with directions and distance away from the airport and fly according to the instrument panel on the aircraft.

I tried using method 1 and 2 to locate Bahau but I couldn't so I had to resort to method 3. BAH BOOM! mission accomplished. I turned right and headed to Segamat. It was quite a long leg to fly from Bahau to Segamat, I could not maintain a constant heading due to clouds. 20 minutes was almost up, I estimated to arrive at Segamat after 20 minutes but the ground features do not match with the map. Shit, so the genius turned left and right and confused himself. I lost my bearings completely, I wasn't sure where the coast was... if I was able to track to the coast, I could have returned to Malacca easily.

I was starting to worry, I threw the map behind and contacted the control tower for assistance.

Academy 436: Lumpur Info, I am currently unsure of postion, request radar vector to Segamat.
Lumpur Info: Academy 436, request your current position.
Academy 436: I am currently lost, request directions to Segamat.
Lumpur Info: We do not have you on radar fly heading 270 and track for the coast.
Academy 436: Copied.

I flew West for quite some time. Then there was a range of mountains blocking my path, shit. They were at least 4000ft high and I was flying at 2000ft. Fuck all matters, I climbed to 6000ft cowboy style. I could not see the peak of some of the mountains because they were covered with clouds. It was unusual for an aircraft of this capability to fly that high. Who cares, nobody knows! it was an emergency anyway. Not long after I cleared the mountains I was able to see the coast. Looking at the map, I was surprised to find that I was around Port Dickson. There was this place called Cape Ricardo that I was able to identify because I've flown over it before.

I told the tower that I've found my way and I'm heading back to Malacca, proudly. When I landed my friends were waiting for me, they knew what had happened and had a laugh. Apparently the directions given by the tower wasn't accurate. I had to explain to the instructors where I went and how I got lost. While I was up there, I was so panic I wanted to land on to the highway. Thank goodness I didn't. The fuss lasted about 2 weeks. There was a new ruling implemented on the flying school. Whoever gets lost will be grounded for a week. Sorry guys.. ahhaaha.. but I got away with that.

A year has passed since this incident had happen. I graduated from the flying school and I went to report back to my company in Subang. They had a 2 week induction period, one of the activities included visiting the control tower in Subang. While visiting, one of my batchmate had an itchy mouth... "Sir, do you know anyone that got lost while flying? and have you heard of Academy 436?" then the guy that was giving us the talk said "It was that girl who got lost right from Malacca?" he also said that they made a report about my incident and saved it in their archive. "That Academy 436 almost made us activate the Search and Rescue". My batchmate then pointed at me.... "Sir, he is Academy 436!!" what good friends I have.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Conman In My House

My classes have stalled for almost a week now, I have been waking up at 5pm and sleeping at 11am in the morning for the past week. I wake up have my dinner and off I go "bye ma! going out!" and I return home when people go out for taichi. My dad was not entirely happy with my new lifestyle thus constantly calling me to go home early which I ignored everytime. Most of the time I would be out in the cyber cafe's having a game of dota. There was one time he messaged me "Please be back home early... DO NOT waste your money at the internet cafe and utilize the home computer"... oh my god... he tried to psycho me. I went back late on that occasion eventhough my mood for gaming was not there.

I have never had this problem when I was staying in Malacca in the past during my studies there. He didn't bother at all... probably someone told him something bad about cyber cafe's. He told me "Don't go to the cyber cafe until late nights... you go there everyday somemore, later the boss think you rich and call people to rob you" okay... I didn't say anything back because I'm a good son and also because if I talked back, what my parents say usually come true, really.

A few days later, I went out with a few friends at around 5pm to have dinner. We had steamboat buffet at a restaurant in Sunway... NOT the one in Mentari where they served faceless octopus and prawns with disgusting brown stuff in it.. ewww! makes my hair stand. It was a friend's friend's newly opened restaurant there(cool leh me, know so many people). After eating we sat there for around 4 hours chatting away and waiting for the boss to join us for tarkei after he had tidy up his restaurant for tomorrows business. Then my phone vibrated... bRRrrRrrrRrr!! who could that be? oh, its a message from my dad. "Please tah pao murtabak kambing for me"

Instead of waiting there, I went to tah pao his murtabak kambing and sent it home. I planned to rejoin my friends after that to save time. After taking away the murtabak kambing, I headed straight home to serve my dad hot murtabak! so I parked my car outside and brought his murtabak in. Doom, doom, doom, doom... as he walked down the stairs, "Pa, I bought your favorite murtabak from the same shop".... "hmm!" he replied with a deep voice. "hehe, pa I go out again" and then he went balistic " WHAT!?!?!?! YOU JUST CAME BACK AND YOU WANT TO GO OUT AGAIN!??!?? NO!!!.... "but...but... but... " then I realised it was a trap. He set me up, tah pao his MURTABAK so that I will come home and lock me up, literally. "Buat Baik Di Balas Jahat".

And so, I was forced to stay home... internet connection was down. Tough luck... The next morning I saw my dad, he told me that the murtabak was not delicious, yeah cause I bought it with a black heart.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Police Story

This incident happened to me a few months back. It started at 3am one morning when I was picking up a friend, female obviously. I was waiting at one of the lorongs near her house as illustrated below. It was a familiar place for me to pick her up at that spot as her parents did not allow her to go out at night. But at 3am in the morning it was freaking spooky. She was planning to escape from her house through the backyard and then walk along the backalley... so dangerous. After 5 minutes of waiting in the car, I felt a bit worried so i shut the engine and came down from the car to see if anything was okay.

I stepped out from the car and had a peep into the backalley, while at it I noticed a motorcycle with two guys stopping behind my car. They were two malay guys dressed in windbreakers. "Oh shit! not at this time" I distant myself away from them thinking they were robbers, one of them came down and called me over.

malay guy: mari sini...
me: kenapa? *walking away*
malay guy: mari sini...
me: kenapa? *continues walking away*
malay guy: POLIS! JANGAN LARI!
- That triggered me to run!

This time hailats, confirm robbery already, pretend as police some more. Think I stupid meh!?!? So I ran for my life screaming my lungs out for HELP! HELP! HELP! three fucking times...No one was there to my rescue. It felt like nightmares I used to have when I was young with ugly monsters chasing me. Mahai... he didn't take off his helmet some more when chasing me... lagi scary. The other guy took the motor to block me on the next row on the left. I had a feeling they would catch me sooner or later, I had a brief thought about giving up but if I stopped what would they do to to me?. As I was approaching the end of the row of houses... the mother fucker was yelling shit like POLIS!! JANGAN LARI!! POLIS!! JANGAN LARI!! YOU LARI SAYA TEMBAK!!... yea yea whatever... wanna chase, chase lar.. so damn noisy somemore.

"saya tembak?!!?!?".... I turned my head back and I swear I saw the mother fucker pointing a gun at me from a distant. Ma chao hai!! thief these days got gun somemore!! then I ran even faster+hopping because I had a feeling that he was gonna shoot my legs. In my head I had flashbacks about my parents and I also had a picture of tomorrows newspaper headlines. I don't know why but I just did. So as I was saying, I was approaching the end of the lane... It all happened in a split second... I then made a quick right turn to the next row so that he couldn't take aim at me. I turned back and I had him out of my sight. Now I can plan my escape. I couldn't run anymore... I was too tired and was running out of breath. *ting!* came an idea... climb into peoples houses and hide. Kanineh... those people modify house and put their house gates so damn high. By the time I could climb to the peak of the gate, the cibai would have saw me in a vulnerable position and shoot my arse from there. I saw this bush by the house and I hid behind it immediately.

The guy who was chasing me passed and didn't notice me, after that his partner passed with the motorcycle... Tee hee! so hais ended up discussing at the other end whether where I was. Behind the bush lar so hai. Then the motorcycle came from the opposite direction. I saw the beam of light from the motorcycle and held my breath again. Shit! my ass wasn't covered from the other side. He stopped right in front of me and called me to come out. Probably they'll just rob me and give me a good bashing after all the chasing I gave them and it'll be over... then can go yam cha with my bruised face. But no, when I came out he asked for my IC. Shit, he really was a copper after all. Then he asked...

Policeman: Apa you buat sini?
Me: Angkat kawan saje
Policeman: Kenapa bila saya panggil kamu... kamu lari?
Me: Saya ingat mau kena rompak ma!
Policeman: Kan saya dah cakap saya polis? kenapa kamu masih lari? *and shows me his uniform*
Me: Semua orang pun boleh cakap dia polis... saya ingat kamu tipu
Policeman: tapi kamu berani ah! pistol pun tak takut!!
Me: ehehehe....
Policeman: Saya ingat kamu mau curi kereta

And so, I had to do a driving test to drive my car which he thought I was trying to steal from one lamp post to another. I aced the test with distinction. After that I had to open every compartment of my car for them to check. The policemen who chased me by foot was surprisingly friendly. The other lazy arse who took the bike was fucking lanci, ask me go balai this that yada yada master yoda but the friendly policemen took care of stuff and let me off.

Oh yea and one of the cops bumped in to my friend while the other was going through my car, asked whether she knew me... she said no. :( ... but I could understand why. Then the policeman asked her where she was going.... tengah fatt hao the policeman. Then he came to me and asked "you mau angkat ini amoi ar?, ini amoi kawan you ah?" I said no... he kept pestering me to say yes. ughh...