One Mans Tragedy Is Another Mans Comedy

Saturday, August 05, 2006

The Hainanese Warrior Unleashed Within Me

Yes, I am a Hainanese Boy... I love eating Hainanese chicken rice but I cannot speak Hainanese except for "du mi nang?" and "Hainam nang" or "nang nang"... embarassing. Hainanese people are famous for being good looking, yes yes I know, settle down girls but it comes with a price... We have a weird temper. Half of the Hainanese male population are pure hot tempered and the other half are really patient people but don't test their patience... once they get mad, they'll go "MACHAHAIAH!!... I'll kill you and your next 18 generations of cucu cicit!!" I think I am type number 2.

Every Tuesday I will go down to play futsal with my friend and his brother. We play futsal around Subang and PJ... mostly in Subang. His brother set up a match against his friend's team in PJ. I was just playing my normal game... there was this guy playing very rough, everytime I get the ball he will try to break my leg. I didn't bother much... it happens in football. Probably he was just an aggressive player and I was so skillful that he always miskicks my leg for the ball. For 2 hours I was harassed by him.

After a few weeks, they came to Subang to play a game with us.... Mahai he continued the same way. He was tapping my ankles and shoving me off the ball. I know la I geng and small sized... but don't play like that la. If he kicks another 3 times... my leg confirm break already. Smuggy then got the ball on the right hand side, Bulldozer comes and tries to steals the ball. Smuggy pretended to dribble left but he goes right, Bulldozer was confused and Smuggy was off in full speed!! ariba ariba andale andale!.... Bulldozer realized that he couldn't keep up with Smuggy's pace and he sandwiches Smuggy on to the netting.

"MACHAHAIAH! I'll kill you and your 18 generations of cucu cicit!!" ... Bulldozer had just awaken the warrior inside of Smuggy disturbing his sleep. Smuggy was so pissed off he gave a full right swing on to Bulldozers back... POW! Bulldozer was almost a head taller than Smuggy and playing shirtless... he had a black dragon white tiger tattoo. He turned back to look at Smuggy.... at the same time, The stupid Hainanese warrior went back to sleep and left Smuggy alone. Uh oh... hai lat de... what do i do now? Maintain cool la whatelse.

Bulldozers friends all came rushing in... 'poh pek poh pek poh pek' the argument ended... then my friend's bro called me out to be replaced by another guy to avoid anymore problems. After the match I decided to apologized to him since he was a friend of my friends bro. (suk chun say suk chun la) the last time I hit someone was in kindergarten. I was arranging blocks to stack up a castle, this bitch(guy) messed it up. I punched him... he cried, I also cried. WAHAHAHA.. and he kena denda.. tai sei!


  • At 2:04 PM, Blogger keer said…

    This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

  • At 2:05 PM, Blogger keer said…


    quite a funny blog here.

    a non-hainanese speaking hainanese here too!! lol

    all i know is "bo bat kong hai nam bue" and "bong kang" or yeah.."jiak bui"..
    err i dont know correct or not..

    hainanese are mad. they suffered from some madness diseases since long long time ago.

    luckily im not the typical type.

    but from what i read here,u r most likely suffering from it. got some symptoms. be careful yea.

    remember to take medicine all the time. :)

  • At 1:51 AM, Anonymous hsin said…



    *dies laughing*

  • At 4:17 PM, Blogger smuggy said…

    keer: hey! a fellow hainanese, I don't think it is that serious, no need of medications.

    hsin: he cried because of pain! waahhahah... then i cried because my blocks runtuh de

  • At 10:27 PM, Blogger chiqstingray said…

    hahaha.. damn cute ler

  • At 12:43 PM, Blogger Rai said…

    You just insulted yourself and your own race. Hainanese are not hot temper as compare to other race. Your hot-temper is from the mixture of the other blood. You are too shallow Hainanese have made a mark in
    Chinese history. Lets me give you 2 cents of knowledge. The Soong sister, PM of M'sia, Wif of the PM of Bruma,Chief Monk of Thailand and so on...... read it up yourself. As for not knowing how to speak Hainanese shame on you. I am Canadian I can speak it. Leave all your personal opinion of Hainanese to yourself. We will always shine.

  • At 4:44 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said…

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